Well, I suppose, we are in some form of eerie stasis (sometimes God happens fast – I heard this line in an Aaron Sorkin movie, and I am shamelessly obsessed). Silence and negative space push on my walls as I hit refresh – now inching towards 1.3 million. Twenty years ago I had a recurring fantasy not dissimilar to our present dilemma. And I am grateful for our present positions failed details of my mind’s version (it was more destructive. But there is still time). The point is, pandemic details aside, the fantasy was mine. No one could touch it. I could go there as I saw fit – dream. (In a completely irrational response to this pandemic, perversely, I am resentful, at, in a tortuous manner, God and Their, what I thought had a higher improbability, pandemic). And my escape escaped into our fragmented systems. And seemingly, at least at this moment, it is no longer mine. There is something in this thread of fantasies deferred about managing expectations, or like how I never got to be disappointed when I met my heroes because they are all dead, or how my endless carping has got me nowhere – something, maybe. I suppose.
Leonard Cohen gave a interview years ago. The interviewer asked him when did his song writing turn the corner from folk(ish) to expressions of the utter guttural humanity. Mr. Cohen told her it was when he removed himself as the hero of his own tragedy. I think that speaks to the importance of the human condition and its accessibility – for everyone (mostly) experiences the same emotions. Which, the aforementioned brings me to my thesis thought: with having no experiences to draw from how do we as human beings (because I for one would love to avoid and/or circumvent the negligence and ill-preparedness contributing favorably to the depths of our current economical, sociological, and psychological – I am sure I am forgetting an affected area – deficiencies) to reintegrate into a, hopefully slightly evolved, society without the inherent PTSD guiding our interactive and decision making process?